Today, tuan-tuan puteri 2 beradik nih betul2 make ibu mad. And ibu sangat pening n sangat penat n sangat tension n sangat sedih n sangat-sangat-sangat needs a holiday.
Kakak since dah pandai guna toilet nih, aaaaassyik lah nak ke toilet. Tak sampai 10 minit kencing, nak pi toilet lagi. And lagi, and lagi. The problem is, bila time nk basuh dia takmau ambik the pipe hose sendiri. She wants ibu to take it for her. And that makes ibu really exhausted n restless sbb baru jek nak tenggek duduk, dah kena bangun. Duduk-bangun-duduk-bangun-duduk-bangun...
And kakak sangat susah nk pakai seluar semula selepas pi toilet. Setakat 5-6 kali ibu still boleh cakap "Sayangggg... pakai la seluar tu. Nanti lalat gigit ...." Tapi kalau sampai dah masuk 10 kali asyik cakap benda yg sama n no positive response, ingat ibu tak reti jerkah orang ke???
Adik pulak, being so clingy as usual. Ibu betul2 rasa fed-up dgn ke"clingy"an adik nih. Okeh masa baby2 dulu ibu boleh la terima. Ini dh dekat masuk 3 tahun still jugak mcm tu. Melekat 24 jam dgn ibu. Tak boleh la ibu nak bangun dgn bebas sorang2. Asal ibu gerak sikit jek, dia dh pegang kain/seluar ibu. Better sikit sekarang nih dia tak sampai ikut masuk dlm toilet. Tapi still dia akan tnggu kt depan pintu toilet sampai lah ibu keluar, n she will be jumping happily with hand clapping and "yeayys" just like she's been waiting ibu for years!
Tadi ibu tried to have a slow talk session with them, telling them that ibu will need to go to some kind of work tomorrow (planning to go to sports centre). So they need to stay in the nursery for a while. Kakak was quite ok with it, but adik, terus throw a tantrum sambil menghentak2 kaki dan membaling mainan. Great. So plan ibu utk menslimkan badan cancel lagi.
Then they asked for Oreo. Ok, I put it on the dining table and cakap "Makan kt sini je, jgn bawak mana-mana." Seriously, kat hall tu asal sapu mesti serbuk biskut, serbuk roti, kulit coklat and so.
While I was kemas-kemas kat hall, I rasa mcm dapur tu sunyi jek. Go n check, yesss... both are not in the kitchen. Hmmm.... cari punya cari, rupa2nya dua ketoi budak ni sedang bergembira menaburkan Oreo di atas tilam!!!!
Teramat sangat lah geramnyaaa!!!! Ibu terus tarik tangan depa, and kurung dalam bilik. Unfortunately, itu ialah bilik mainan, and disebabkan ia adalah waktu siang maka ia tidak gelap maka juga ia adalah tidak menakutkan. It's just adik yg nanges, tapi sekejap jek. Pastu I heard they just continue palying sbb tu mmg bilik yg amat penuh dgn mainan! Oh.. damn me!
Lama jugak ibu kurung depa dlm tu. Well, at least they will feel tak best sbb ibu tak ada kan (I wish). Then bila ibu bukak pintu, mcm biasa lah dua2 nanges buat muka kesian and salam "Kakak mintak maaf bu..." and " Adik 'af bu..."
Sesungguhnya ibu mmg kesian nak denda mcm tu. But adik n kakak sangat2 tak dengar cakap ibu, and selalu create idea yg just turn ibu tu godzilla!!!
Setakat nk mintak ibu buat makan itu ini, ibu tak kisah. Tapi bila main-main dgn makanan, bawak sana sini, tumpah sana sini, while yg masuk mulut cuma 2-3 bijik, that will definitely not makes me happy.
It's true that people say - you never really know what you are capacle of, until the babies come along. Yes, exactly. Dulu ibu tak masak sambil sebelah tangan dukung anak. Ibu tak pernah sambil buat susu, kaki boleh mengelap lantai. Ibu tak pernah in middle of enjoying my passion of cooking, kena stop to wash the poops and pees. Ohhhhhh.....
Being an ibu, I can't give my resignation notice like I always did in companies bila I start tak suka the bosses.
I really miss those old days where I send them to babysitter, and I took a day off and just go pampering myself with massage and facial and window shopping. It was really a pleasure n leisure to just spend time all alone sometimes. Yes, I said SOMETIMES.
It's not that I really crazy that I hate them or dont want them anymore or what. But I just got tired n exhausted. I know, I know..... orang akan cakap "Jaga budak2 kena lah sabar...budak2 mcmtu lah..." Yes, I know and I realize it. And I always berdoa to Allah to guide me to be the best mother that could ever do the best for my kids.
I am so sorry. But really, I need some time off - to be alone, just me and nobody else.
